I'm Not One to Be Prejudice...

Can I just take a moment to tell you how much I hate apples from anywhere other than Washington?

I hate apples from anywhere other than Washington a lot. I just "munched" on an apple I picked up at my local co-op. The apple was from New Zealand; had I noticed this at the co-op, I probably would not have purchased the apple. Unfortunately, it wasn't until I was hungry that I noticed this fact clearly printed on a sticker. I expected the worst, and I got the worst: mushy, bland, and all-around not good. And it was a Granny Smith-- my favorite type of apple.

Ugh. No thanks, New Zealand.

Yo Patrick Swayze

This picture has nothing to do with anything in this post, except for maybe Idaho and weddings. Other than that, I just think it's great. Check out Cameron's goatee. Moving on...

Another celebrity gone this year. Funny how it coincided with another engagement announcement. MJ dies; Tanja tells us she's engaged. PS dies; Kate tells us she's engaged. I wonder if Beth killed any celebrities with her engagement.

I just had a horrible thought. What if, when I get engaged, Ben Gibbard dies? Or Justin Timberlake? Or Morgan Freeman? I think that would be enough of a sign for me to reconsider the whole thing. Blame it on being half-Filipino-- I'm supersticious.

I've added a few more places to my "Places to Visit" list. Fiji and Puerto Rico are both on there, as well as the city of San Diego. Places I'd like to re-visit include Cannon Beach, OR and Priest Lake, ID.

On that same note, I'm thinking of booking a campsite for Memorial Day weekend 2010 at Priest Lake. I'm 99% sure Cameron will at least be able to go with me, and we're hoping a few other people can join. It's a max of 8 campers and 1 vehicle, though, so we'll see. If it all falls through and it's only him and me, that's fine; that will be our 3-year annivesary weekend, anyway.

I went shopping at the co-op just down the street. It was wonderful. I would have purused for longer, but I was hungry and knew I would spend way too much money if I did that. I came home, and I was ready to make myself a real meal, but all I wanted was a salad and some frozen yogurt. Not as hungry as I originally thought, apparently.

Anyway, please don't ask me when I'm getting engaged. It will be a long time from now. In the meantime, please feel free to ask me about my plans for graduate school. I'll be happy to entertain you with my ideas of where I'd like to study and what I would like to do.

I'm back. Again.

It's been just about a week and a half. Parking is atrocious, the commute back from work is unpleasant, and there's been a cloud hanging over my workplace for the past several mornings, which just isn't comforting.

All in all, though, I finally feel like myself again. I've actually gone out and done things. I usually get to talk to people, in person, at my apartment. I'm not terrified of going to the laundry room.

I am a bit intimidated to park and then drive somewhere and try to park again. It would be a bit easier if the only non-zoned parking wasn't on a hill and I could parallel park. I'll work on that later.

So, Seattle's not completely terrible. I'm surrounded by a city that has culture again. Oh, thank Heaven.

On another note, I've been stressed out due to GRE studies, grad school applications, and letters of recommendation. This is not an easy task, but I hope it's insanely rewarding. I'm applying for a bunch of different schools (seven), and I hope one of them accepts me and offers me something enticing. I'm excited about the field I want to study, and seeing that it's been a year since I realized I wanted to study higher education administration, I'm confident that this will work.

Anyway. I'm avoiding actually getting anything done, and there is a lot to take care of today. Farmer's market, Target, laundry, unpacking (still), etc. For now, I'm outta here.

Well....

I moved to Capitol Hill. I have a commute again. I have a roommate again.

Crossing my fingers that I'll have a life again.

Hello, Dear Friends.

Ah, the ease of uploading photos to this blog.

Where do I begin today?

Well. The other night, I woke up to strange noises. In my confused state, I thought my neighbors were simply up partying, or whatever it is they do at 1AM. Turns out, someone was at my window, furtively prying off the screen. I purchased a knife after that, though I have a feeling I'll accidentally stab my hand before using it to defend myself. That's life in Everett, I suppose.

Due in part to Cameron's comment that he wants to shop at farmers markets more often, I think I will begin shopping at a few of the markets in Seattle. Yes, I'm moving to Seattle, as long as no one breaks into my apartment and steals my life away before then. It's a good thing I'm not paranoid at all (sarcasm). Back to farmers markets, though-- first of all, is it "farmers" or "farmers'?" Second of all, I always forget how much I enjoy the markets until I walk around for awhile. I feel much more at ease there. Third of all-- free samples!

Anyway. I lost my train of thought somewhere between "free samples" and my lunch break.

Sunny Days

I've noticed that it's hard to keep up a good mood on this side of the mountains. How I feel is very influenced by the weather. I know this, because I made the mistake one year of decorating my room in blues and drab neutrals. It was dark, and I spent all winter brooding. After that, I made sure to use magentas, oranges, yellows, etc. to brighten my living spaces up.

My junior and senior year at college were aided by the fact that I lived in a cheerful little house with yellow walls. Perfect.

Then I moved to whatever you want to call my current dwelling. It's a cave, and it has been impossible to brighten that place up. I even got a new floor lamp.

On a related note, though, I just created a "Sunny Day Radio" station on Pandora. Jack Johnson, Hawaiian music, and upbeat folk rock has been helping me so far today. I needed something to get me past some frustration. It's working to an extent. I won't complain.

Lastly, I have tickets to one of my favorite bands of all time. I'm going to see Sunny Day Real Estate in October. Seattle emo, for the win. It will be grand.

Alright. Back to work. Then it's off to sunny Wenatchee for Casey's celebration of life and my dad's 90th. I think I'll need to stop by a local winery, too. Good idea? I think so.

Smile.

I'm Back

But then again, I never left.

I've gone several places since the last time I posted here: Las Vegas, Wenatchee, Hawaii, Whidbey Island, Bellingham.

But I never left.

I'm still in a rut, and I haven't been able to dig myself out. I had to go back to Everett last night. I feel like a normal person would accept that fact and go home to his or her apartment with sleep on the mind. How did I handle it? I cried. Of course.

I've tried, Everett. I really have. Nothing about you makes me want to roll my windows down and cruise around. Instead, you've trapped me. All my normal tactics are useless against you.

Has this city finally broken me?

A few weeks ago, before I left for Hawaii and before Cameron was back on the mainland, I started to feel some semblance of normalcy. I was feeling independent and confident about the future. I guess when I stepped back and looked at where I am in comparison to so many others, I was crushed by the depressing reality that I've somehow failed.

When I go home at night, I go home to an empty apartment. It's full of stuff, and if I had the motivation, I swear I would throw most of it away. An unfinished scrapbook. Language books, of which I've only read the first chapter. Presents to be sent off. Piles of laundry. An empty suitcase. Unread GRE study guides.

The distaste I have for this apartment has led me to stop caring. Maybe I would like it more if it didn't feel like such a desperate place. It's not home. It's a storage bin where I unfortunately have to sleep every night.

Get me out of here. My creativity, my drive, my identity have all withered.

Is that what college graduation is about?

If this is the real world, I'm over it. I want to pack my bags and get out of here.



It's too bad I'll only get part way through the task.